You and I exist much like the flame of a candle, an ever-changing stream of causes and conditions, personality and behaviors, but this is not how we view ourselves. We see our self and others as solid, separate things and become emotionally attached to how this thing is doing, how it is faring in the world. 

Yet the self is no more than a concept laid over the body/mind, a concept which we cling to as real. Once we begin to think of our self in this way, as a lasting, singular and independent thing, this causes us to believe that others also exist in this way, creating numerous mental problems, such as anger, jealousy, impatience, fear, worry and other painful states of mind. Yet upon investigation, this self on whose behalf we engage in these negative behaviors cannot be found. 

Bring to mind the idea of your Self. Observe how it appears to you as an independent unit, a thing moving through the world, thinking, doing, speaking, owning. Where precisely is this self?

The self is not the body. 

The self is not the feelings of feeling bad, feeling good, or feeling indifferent.

The self is not the individual sense perceptions.

The self is not awareness.

The self is not thoughts.

The self is not separate from these five.

The self is empty of existing in the way we think it does. Realizing this is peace.

Simply taking a close look at the emptiness of the I, and checking your mind like this from time to time can go a long way towards defusing the negative aspects of the self. Way before we realize this emptiness directly, it’s possible to not only seriously damage the habits of anger, attachment and fear, but to begin to replace them with goodness, which in turn provides the conditions for positive seeds to ripen. So in one fell swoop, hell is short-circuited, starved of the fuel it needs to keep it alive, and the door to heaven is opened a crack more. Previously unwanted situations are turned into a direct cause for union with the Divine, right then and there, however you want to label or describe that phenomenon. 

Studying emptiness only means getting familiar with the idea of the emptiness of the self by listening to teachings about it, reading about it, thinking about it. Keeping the heat on in this way gradually dismantles the dream of inherent existence.

There’s nothing more important than getting really practiced at paying attention to where I’m operating from, and understanding in each moment exactly on whose behalf am I making decisions. My lama was constantly forcing us to engage in what you could call attention practices, being scrupulously aware of what your mind is doing at all times, whether you’re chopping vegetables, closing a door or drinking tea. Normally, when I’m  asleep in the life-dream, anger and other delusions arise because I innately assign an inherent essence to a person or situation “out there” and at the same time assign an inherent essence to the idea of self “in here” — a double-whammy of dreaming. 

It’s hard to stop dreaming, but if I can notice when I’m subscribing to the dream — the reification of the self — I can pose the question, “On whose behalf are you upset?” because there isn’t a self here that is going to benefit from this thought or action. I usually act, speak or think because I feel that I’m going to get something from it, but this is all based on the “dream appearance” of a self that I misconceive as actually there, as truly existing. When I understand it doesn’t exist and never has, it becomes impossible to generate negative emotions on its behalf. The cycle of perceived harm/retaliation is stopped in its tracks because the unawareness that perpetuates it is stopped. If I do this enough, my reality shifts towards peace.

Gradually changing the habit of anger, by taking away the agency of the imagined self, I’m open to becoming more fully human, where compassion and concern for all life takes precedence over coddling the self’s petty concerns.